THE PROFILE
Wisdom from Adam who has been sober since 2005: Reach Out for Help
Adam says: I can’t take credit for any of it. The real
accolades must go to AA, Connections Counseling Center, the people I met there,
and a dog named Gunnar. They were the ones who gave me the keys I needed to
transform my life.
I had no idea when I brought Gunnar home that September
morning how profoundly he would change me. I’d recently stopped drinking and
was groping my way through a kind of fog toward something I could barely see.
My life as I knew it had been shattered into bits and swept away. It was a
terrifying time.
In my counseling sessions with Shelly, she talked often
about her dog and said it was common for newly sober people to get dogs because
of all the lessons they can teach us. It was the first time I’d heard of a “sober
dog,” but the idea of dogs’ acceptance, patience, and love helping people stay
sober made sense.
After researching breeds, I bought a golden-retriever puppy.
From the moment I brought Gunnar home, that fuzzy bundle of enthusiasm changed
the energy in the house, filling it with life. Being responsible for him gave
me a purpose and forced me to become active, take daily walks, and meet people
at the dog park.
I learned why “sober dogs” are so valuable. Dogs live the
secret of sobriety, always in the present instant. As long as you’re good to
them, they never hold grudges, and even if you’re not good to them, they
forgive you instantly.
Gunnar had an enormous impact on the spiritual part of my
program. There was a part of God in the heart of this wonderful dog.
One of the defining moments in my new life occurred in my
first year of sobriety. It began like any other day. My habit was to begin each
morning by waking Gunnar, who slept on the bed next to me. On this particular
day, as I knelt at the edge of the bed to wake him, it dawned on me that this
might be a good time to try praying.
Meditation and prayer were things I had yet to get a good
grasp of, but I’d been hearing about them in AA. The principle of asking the
universe for help seemed valid to me, but I felt awkward about trying it. I
hadn’t prayed since I was a child, and I didn’t know how to begin.
Suddenly, I realized that being on my knees beside my bed
offered the perfect chance to get started down that spiritual passageway. I had
so much to be grateful for – my daughter, my dog, my family, my friends, my
sobriety. I began by listing those things in my mind as I knelt there, thanking
the universe for the new life I’d been given. Then it felt natural to ask my
higher power to guide me through the day and help me see the right direction to
follow.
Things fell into place, and I knew, from then on, I’d begin
each day the same way. That dawn started me on a road of meditation,
thanksgiving, and prayer that became a lifelong evolution. I’ll never forget
how Gunnar led me there.
Later, when I told this story to a friend, he nodded
knowingly and told me, “It makes perfect sense. After all, dog spelled backward
is God.”
THE KEYS:
1.
You never know the direction from which help may come. Be open to
traditional and non-traditional ways of asking for and receiving assistance.
2.
People have different ways of finding meaning and purpose. The ritual of
walking a dog in the park every day can be as transformative as taking
communion in a church. A prayer or meditation breathed alone in a silent room
can be as powerful as one chanted in a religious group. The secrets are to
believe in something beyond yourself, to immerse yourself in the wonders of
nature, and to have the courage to ask for help.
ACTIONS
TO PRACTICE:
1. Humbly ask for help. Close your eyes, and
speak to the universe. If you don’t want to call it a prayer, call it an
affirmation. Just say what’s on your
mind. Ask for strength, love, or whatever you need more of. Then be on the
lookout for help to arrive – not necessarily in the form you intended.
2. Spend time with a dog or other pet. If you
don’t have one, go to an animal shelter or ask friends to share theirs for a
while. Notice the animal’s curiosity, spontaneity, and delight in the simple
things of life. If you’re open to their energy, they can teach you a great deal
about life, about yourself, and about unconditional love.
3.
Plan to get together with a group (any sort of support group, interest
group, spiritual or religious group.) Find out when the group meets and write
the date in your datebook. Make a firm commitment to attend the group at least
three times. Making this connection is one of the most important things you can
do. See the January 2014 blog post, “This
Is a ‘We’ Thing.”
4.
Make a list of people and resources you can turn to for support (friends,
counselors, support groups, Web sites, toll-free numbers). Keep this list handy
so you can reach for it whenever you need help, reassurance, or someone to talk
to.
For
more exercises to keep you on the right path, take a look at WAKING UP HAPPY,
www.WakingUpHappy.co.
Please
contact me with your own stories, strategies, insights, and any questions you
may have, as well as an answer to this question, if you’d like to reflect on it
and send me your answer:
Where
is your “safe place” where you can always find the help you need? If you don’t
have one, what first step could you take to create one for yourself?
