There’s no better remedy for whatever’s bothering you than
to write. We’re not talking about polished prose here. You don’t need to write
in complete sentences or worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Just
let the words flow, and you will feel your heart grow lighter.
You can write in a beautiful journal, on scraps of paper, or
on your computer. You can draft a few words or dozens of pages. You can write twice a day, once a week, or
just when you need an outlet.
You can also keep a journal by talking into a digital
recorder or video cam. But even if you do, it’s still a good idea to get into
the habit of jotting things down. If writing feels foreign to you, keep penning
a few lines every day until it feels more natural. It’s a practice that will
benefit you throughout your life.
There are no rules, but you can use the following tips:
- Start by jotting down a few tetherings – the date, what’s going on in the news or in your life, whatever will anchor your words to a specific time. When you look back on your writing, these hooks may give you insights into why you were feeling the way you were.
- If you don’t know what to say, begin by answering questions such as these: Where are you in your life? How did you get there? Where would you like to go next? What do you wish you were doing? What’s the most important thing in the world to you?
- You needn’t restrict yourself to words. Draw your ideas. Doodle. Paste in photos, cut-out pictures, objects from nature, or anything that will remind you of special moments in your life. Print out the lyrics of your favorite songs, and use those as springboards to clarify your feelings. Make collages, or sketch or paint. Tinker with colors and shapes. Let the creative child within you come out to play.
If you have a loved one with an
addiction, you could give them no more helpful gift than a journal. As my
friend Cecilia Farran notes in Nature’s Pathways, there’s no lack of
gorgeous choices. Embossed leather-bound journals by Oberon will last a
lifetime. Paper Blank journals have beautiful covers and sport a “secret
pocket.” There are journals for recovery, such as “A New Day, A New Life: A
Guided Journal.” Anything that coaxes a troubled person to turn to writing will
be a great boon.
THE KEYS
1. If you have a traumatic experience,
wait a few days and then write about it. People who do that, according to
research, recover more fully from any distressing event. Don’t write about it
too soon, too frequently, or too long (set a timer and quit after a certain
time – say, 15 minutes or so) but continue exploring feelings on paper every so
often until you’re able to put the trauma behind you.
2. Writing helps you relax and stay in
the “now.” It offers a way to chart your progress. It’s a safety valve, letting
you explore your emotions and move beyond them. It will reveal to you, like
magic, things you didn’t even know you were thinking and feeling. It will
expose voids in your reasoning that you didn’t realize were there. I especially
like gratitude journals, where you end your musings by listing one to three
things you’re most grateful for that day.
3.
Journaling is most therapeutic
if you simply write from your heart without thinking, judging, or worrying. Let
the emotions spill out without censoring them.
ACTIONS TO PRACTICE
1. Share the first key above with any
loved one who has had a traumatic experience or is wrestling with addiction
(which is, in itself, a traumatic experience).
2.
Every few months, look back over
your journal. Certain patterns will become clear – threads that occur and
reoccur – and give you insights into your truest self.
3. Write your life story. You can make
it as short or long as you wish. If possible, share it with someone you trust.
Consider writing it in the third person rather than first person (using “he” or
“she” rather than “I”). Imagine it happened to someone else. Viewing yourself
with a more objective eye is a good way to see yourself with more clarity and
compassion. Challenge your loved ones to do the same.
4. Write a journal for each of your
children, viewing them with as positive an eye as possible. Eventually, you
can give these journals to them as presents, and it will be invaluable for them
to see how important they are to you – and to have a record of their life to
look back on.
For more exercises, take a look at Waking Up Happy,
which includes “Things to Do Today” (at the end of each chapter) and “365 Steps
on Your Journey” (an exercise for every day of the year), www.WakingUpHappy.co.
Please contact me with your own stories, strategies,
insights, and any questions you may have. I look forward to hearing from you!
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